Analyzing Thesis Statements

Directions

Bearing in mind the criteria of what makes a successful thesis, decide what is wrong with each of the following as potential thesis statements:

1. Richard M. Nixon was the first President of the United States to resign from that office.
2. An examination of the benefits of penicillin.
3. In this essay, I am going to talk about the problems faced by ex-prisoners in returning to society.
4. Have you ever wondered why most people read so much more slowly than they need to?
5. Unemployment is a serious problem in today’s world.

Corresponding Answers

1. Simply a statement of fact; that Nixon was the first President to resign is a matter of historical record. The writer has nothing to prove or support.
2. Not even a sentence; it’s only a title. The writer has apparently not decided what to say about the benefits of penicillin.
3. Not a thesis; it’s a sentence, all right, but like (2), it does nothing more than state the topic. What is the writer going to say about these problems? The topic is also too broad for most short essays; the writer would probably do better to confine the discussion t a particular problem ex-prisoners face.
4. A question, and probably a good way of getting an essay on speed-reading off the ground. But since it doesn’t state anything, it can’t be a thesis.
5. Expresses a point almost no one would disagree with; it doesn’t state an assertion that needs to be argued. An effective thesis on the problems of unemployment would have to state something beyond the obvious: why tell people what they already know?
   
   The sentence is also too broad and marred by the vagueness of the phrase “in today’s world.” (That catch-all phrase, along with the equally fuzzy “in today’s society,” should probably be stricken from the writer’s vocabulary.)
   

Source: The Active Writer, Frisbie, et al.